Who Discovered America
by Zima Zimavich
Summary: A short and stupid story. America and Canada find out who really discovered them first.


((I got the prompt from the meme, and this was supposed to go there, but I freaked myself out and got scared of it. So, nevermind, I guess.)) ((There are also probably some stupid and embarrasing spelling error that I didn't catch the first 43523 times I read this. But I don't really like it that much and don't want to read it again...))

((There are historical inaccuracies. While I was writing, my mind felt all fuzzy and I couldn't really grab what I wanted to say. So the beginning is kind of hazy, where I guess I'm assuming you know what I'm talking about? You don't, I know. I'm sorry. I haven't really got anyone I can run these by...And I know that the U.S. Isn't the only place with Native Americans. But, after reading through the link provided by the OP of their comment-chat thing, I think they meant America and Canada. But um, I-I don't know...))

* * *

Today was just another boring World Meeting. Well, no. These things were never exactly _boring_. _Loud_ would be a better way to describe them. Everyone was yelling at each other as usual, and – oh great. Yeah, okay, great, today was just getting better and better.

England and France were walking over. They were arguing, of course, and they probably wanted him and America to settle it. Or just America. That was more likely. They'd probably not even notice him. Well that was alright. He preferred to watch and stay out of it anyway.

Once they were close to invade their personal space, England jabbed a finger in America's chest, saying, "Tell him!"

America looked confused as he backed away a bit from having his space invaded. "Tell who what?"

"Tell this _frog_ who found you first!"

America laughed (loudly, Canada doubted he could consciously _be_ quiet), and said, "I found me first, of course!"

Canada figured now would be a good time to try and announce his presence. He kind of jabbed America in the ribs, saying "He means _colonized_. Or, discovered? I'm not actually sure...though why they even care now, after hundreds of years..." When he realized no one was paying attention to him, he trailed off and sighed. It wouldn't matter anyway...

"Non, but it had to be me! I found you –!" France was cut off by a jab and a death glare from England, which he immediately returned by throttling him.

And now...Finland and Sweden were coming over. From the corner of his eye, Canada could see Russia watching them. Great. They were attracting attention from all over the room. Why couldn't he hang out with other nice, quiet people, like Ukraine or Lithuania?

...Right. Those people typically hung out around Russia, who was scary as fuck.

Anyway, Finland and Sweden had now grouped around them, with Denmark, Iceland, and Norway coming over now, too. They were forming a marvelous little clump.

"Sweden, didn't a Norseman find them first?" Finland asked. Really, why was it so important? It didn't matter anymore.

"Think so."

"Okay, then. See guys? It was us..."

They were all suddenly interrupted by a throat being politely cleared. Everyone (including England and France, who were now in an all-out fight, and America, who was watching them and laughing) turned to look at the newest member of their clump. And paled.

Standing in front of them, smiling nervously and shifting his weight from foot to foot was Russia. The rest of Eastern Europe and...pretty much the rest of the world looked on apprehensively. Why would Russia willingly approach America in front of so many people? Now was not the best time for a fight.

"America, could I ask you a question?"

America grinned."It isn't to be one with you, is it? 'Cause you already know the answer to that, from last time. Man, you talked so funny after that! Worse than usual!"

Canada remembered that. It had been a while ago, back when they had tried to kill each other at every chance they got. Not that they didn't still do that now, but it wasn't as bad as back then. During that particular fight, America had nearly ripped Russia's jaw off. It had taken a surprisingly long time to heal.

Russia's grin turned a little harsher for a second. "Ah, no, not really. I wanted to know, do you remember where your Natives came from?"

Canada knew that America knew what Russia was talking about. Canada _also_ knew that the topic of his Native Americans wasn't a good one. It was hard to go around telling others to be humane to each other while he'd tried (and mostly succeeded) to get rid of all his indigenous people. This was why he was not surprised when America said, "You mean the people who were born in my country? They were born there! That's a stupid question to ask!"

Russia blinked at him. "I meant your Native Americans."

America looked a little uncomfortable. He knew where this was going. Canada decided to save him. It wasn't like Russia would tell the difference between them, anyway. "They crossed over the Bering land bridge when it still existed. They were from...Eastern Siberia."

Russia full-out _beamed_. "See, America! I found you first. And, there's no reason to ask if you'll be one with me. You already are!"

Everyone in the room froze. Quick as a flash, America lunged and grabbed a chunk of Russia's scarf in each hand, and pulled them in opposite directions. In retaliation, Russia pulled out his pipe from _out of nowhere_, and swung.

Yup. Just another boring World Meeting.


End file.
